Maggy Floeter says…

I miss Mickey.

It’s funny how a little ball of fluff can work her way into a person’s heart. Especially a special one like Mickey.

She was such a beautiful animal. Her long, silky, silver fur was so soft. Her tail, so exquisitely long, was always held so regally high. Her amber eyes were so sincere. But she was so much more than mere beauty. She was a true friend.

Never have I known an animal so devoted to a person. Mickey lived her life to love me. When I got home from work, she greeted me, throwing her body against my leg and rubbing against me as she looked lovingly into my eyes. When I sat down, she would leap into my arms and kneed my chest and arm until she drooled with pleasure. Then, when she tired of that, she curled gently into a ball and fell asleep in my lap where she would stay as long as I let her.

At night, she decided when it was time for me to go to bed, coming into the living room to squeek her sweet little meow at me. “I’m coming, Mickey” I’d say, as our eyes met, and she would start toward my room, prancing ahead of me down the hall. Once we got there, she jumped onto my bed and waited for me while I completed my nightly ritual. And then, as I crawled under the sheets, she stood, waiting patiently until I got comfortable. When she knew I was ready, she got on my pillow, plopped herself down, curled up next to me, and nuzzled her head into the palm of my hand where she would sleep all night.

I think the hardest part of losing her was how fast it was. On May 1, I didn’t even know anything was wrong. By May 5, we had been to the vet several times, because she couldn’t keep food down. On May 7, I took her to the emergency vet hoping they could help her. The last time I saw her, the vet had her in her arms, kissed her forehead and took her out of the room. On May 9, Mother’s Day, Mickey died of lymphoma. Alone with strangers.

It tears my heart up knowing she had to spend her last days wondering why I wasn’t there. In 10 years, she had only left the house once, and it had terrified her. To think that she was scared and alone in her last days breaks my heart in ways I can’t begin to describe. I hope she knew how much I loved her as she slipped away. I hope she didn’t feel abandoned. If I had known there was no way to save her, I would have never put her through that. I would have held her in the end. She would have had no doubt of my love.

I adored that little fluff ball. I miss her eyes looking lovingly into mine. I miss her smell. I miss her touch. I walk into my room and, for a moment, I expect her to be there. It breaks my heart when I suddenly remember she’s gone. I can’t lie down at night without crying, knowing I’ll never have that little head nuzzled in my hand again. The bed is so empty without her.

Some would think I’m silly for being so torn up over the death of a cat, but she was so much more than that to me. We adored one another. She was like a child to me.

I love you, MIckey.

April 1, 2000 - May 9, 2010

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As our population becomes more and more obese, there is a push towards healthier lifestyles. Restaurants are offering healtheir alternatives, and even fast food chains are taking steps to remove trans fats from their offerings and make other changes that promote healthy alternatives. One would think, then, that it would be no problem for a patron to order water at a fast food chain. Water is a healthy alternative to carbonated beverages. Not only that, it’s an inexpensive product from a restaurant’s perspective as well.

Why, then, is it practically IMPOSSIBLE to order ice water at a drive through window?

It seems that, if you want water, you have two alternatives. One, you can buy bottled water, or two, you can have a tiny cup of ice water. As a lover of ice water, I don’t like either option.

Bottled water, while marketed as healthier than tap water, is, in fact, not. Some water bottling companies actually just put tap water in the bottles, others remove “impurities” and remove the good minerals as well. And, even if it IS healthy, it tastes bad. I don’t enjoy drinking tepid plastic flavored water, and I know a lot of other water lovers who feel the same way.

Then there’s the tiny cup option. What? Are water drinkers somehow less important than carbonated beverage drinkers? Are we less thirsty? Don’t we deserve an option to purchase a large cup of water and ice? That’s all I want, really; a large cup of water with lots of ice, just like the person in the car before me wants a large Dr. Pepper with a lot of ice. I’m willing to pay for it, and I’m NOT the only one! 

Here’s how it usually goes…

Me: I’d like the number 8 combo meal but make that combo drink an ice water.

Them: You want bottled water?

Me: No, I’d like ice water in the combo sized cup

Them: Uhhh…okay.

Then I get up to the window, get my food and a tiny cup of water, and usually that water is pink because it comes from the same spicket as the pink lemonade, and the person running the drive-through is too lazy to just let it run for two seconds to get the pink lemonade cleared from the spicket.

Me: Did I not pay for the combo?

Them: No. You were charged for the hamburer and fries but the water is free, so we didn’t charge you for a combo.

Me: But I asked for the combo because I wanted the combo sized drink. I just happen to prefer water over soda.

Them: But water is free.

Me: It’s free in a tiny baby cup. I want a large cup of water.

Them: So you want bottled water?

Me: NO! I don’t LIKE bottled water. I want water with ice!

Them: But we don’t offer that.

Me: Charge me for a Coke but give me water in the cup. Is that so hard?

Them: Blank stare.

Me: Forget it. Just give me the damned baby cup of water.

The sad fact is that this happens almost universally no matter what fast food drive through I go to. It’s like the workers are programmed, and ice water just doesn’t compute.

Why is it so hard to get a large cup of water? I seriously don’t mind paying for it. Just make it an option. Your restaurant will make tons of profit by charging me the same thing they charge for a carbonated beverage of the same size. WHY PUT US THROUGH THE SAME CRAP EVERY TIME WE TRY TO ORDER WATER?  What IS the big deal?

If I sound ticked off, I am. It happened to me again tonight, and went something like this:

Me: I would like the number 8 combo meal, and as that combo drink, which I want to pay for, I would like a large ice water. Not bottled water, not a baby cup of water, but a large water.

Them: But water is free. You have to order another drink with the combo.

Me: NO. Just pretend I’m getting a Coke and give me water instead.

Them: Uhhhhhh…okay.

So I get to the window and what do I get? A large Coke and a baby water. (Because water is free!)

Me: Take this Coke, and pour it down the drain. Rinse the cup out, fill it with ice, and then fill it with tap water. That’s what I ordered, and that’s what I want.

Them: But water is free.

Me: I DON’T WANT A BABY CUP OF WATER! I WANT A L A R G E CUP OF WATER!

Them: You want bottled water?

Me: NOOOOOO! I WANT A LARGE C*U*P OF ICE WATER!

Them: But we can’t give you that. We’ll have to charge you for the cup.

Me: THAT’S WHAT I WANT!  I ASKED TO BE CHARGED FOR THE COMBO SO I COULD HAVE THE LARGE CUP OF ICE WATER!

Them: Why don’t you take the Coke then?

Me: I DON’T LIKE COKE! I LIKE WATER!

Them: Okay, lady. I don’t know why you’re so upset!

Me: JUST GIVE ME THE DAMNED WATER!

And so, here I am. I got my water. It’s pink and tastes vaguely of lemonade, but at least I got water. Unfortunately, the food was cold by the time I got home. And, oh…the order was wrong.

Next, we’ll discuss trying to get water at a sit-down restaurant WITHOUT lemon. (Also next to impossible)

Maybe someday we water drinkers won’t be so discriminated against. I’m not holding my breath.

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Disequilibrium.

Definition: A feeling of imbalance, a lack of stability.

Babies experience it as they’re learning to move about the world. They try to stand then walk, and disequalibrium causes them to fall — splat onto their diaper cushioned bottoms again and again. That cushion might very well be the reason they keep at it; it prevents them from feeling the pain of their first hard knocks in life, so that all they see ahead is the joy of mobility rather than the fear of failure.

Children encounter it as their bodies grow in spurts, leaving them unsure of their footing, as their young stride changes unexpectedly. No longer protected by the padding of diapers, they skin their knees and elbows, and yet, they keep on going, giddily oblivious to most of the pain, facing their unsure futures with excitement and zeal.

Adolescents meet it head on as hormones start to surge and their bodies change. In their new shells, they feel heady emotion for the first time and are drawn into one new experience after another. They revel in their imbalance, find joy in their lack of stability. No longer concerned about physical pain, they are swept into a world where emotional upheaval is an every day occurance. Like gnats, they swarm toward its light, flitting around wildly, sometimes landing, getting burned, only to flit about more recklessly, unconcerned about their uncertainty.

Young adults experience it with joy as they gain autonomy, enjoying the freedom that surrounds making their own decisions for the first time. They swim in it as they find love, get married and have children. Unsure of their every move, they are now responsible and face each new day, each new experience, each new decision with the assurance that all will be well, for they are immortal.

The aged know it all too well, as their bodies begin to betray them. Like babies, they fall, and while some of them are again diapered, their bones are now frail, and the extra material provides inadequate cushion to their bony bottoms. Hips break. Legs and arms bruise. The certainty they have come to know as adults begins to waiver. They live in a constant state of disequilibrium, never knowing what the next day will bring, and yet, they appreciate every moment of every day.

Disequilibrium is a way of life for all of us, yet the only time in our lives that we are truly uncomfortable with it is when we are middle aged. It is during that time of our lives that we strive for stability and crave a sense of balance. It is vital to our peace of mind that we know what tomorrow will bring, that our finances are adequate, that we understand our duties, that our futures are secure. We understand that the loss of a job can mean calamity. We know that not knowing what we are doing can spell disaster. We fear losing our spouse to someone else, or worse, to death. We dread the unknown and panic at the idea that we might lose our autonomy. As we grow older, we are no longer comforted by our vision of the future, but instead work harder to maintain what we have right here and now. We seek structure and balance.

Perhaps it is in middle age, more than any other time in our lives, when we should learn to step out of our comfort zones and live for the day. Carpe Diem might never mean so much to us as it means right now. After all, who knows what will come on say…December 22, 2012? If the Mayans have anything to say about it, we might only have a few carpe diems left! So I say it’s time to find joy in our imbalance and reach for experiences that are new and exciting. Never will we be so equipped to handle the unexpected. We are experienced at life, our emotions are in check and we know where we have been and what we want out of life. Why not make the most of today rather than waste time worrying about tomorrow? Rekindle delight and relish disequalibrium again! And should you fall on your butt, keep on smiling, dust yourself off and begin again!

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When Barak Obama was elected President of the United States, I had very mixed feelings. I hadn’t voted for the man and didn’t agree with his politics, but I had to admit to liking him on a more personal level. Charismatic is the only word to describe him. His smile is disarming. He has a great sense of humor. He’s a good family man. He’s obviously brilliant. He’s a black guy who can’t dance, and who can’t like a guy like that?

Politically, he’s a nightmare to those of us who believe in a Republic Democracy. His ideals are good ones, but we don’t live in a utopian world where we can afford to try to live by utopian ideals. We have to face reality. For example, I, too, would like to befriend Islamic countries who hate Westerners and hate the U.S. even more. But I’m not so idealistic and niave to believe that they will listen to my friendly words or even pay a bit of attention to my friendly actions. It is not in them to believe that those words or actions are honest and forthright. They have been brianwashed to hate us and distrust us, and hate us and distrust us they will, no matter what we do. So, with that in mind, I think Obama weakens our country by reaching out to them with an open hand and depreciating our country through his rhetoric.

I do not agree with his socialization of our economy nor do I agree with his desire to have a public option health care system. I distrust his administration, because they have pushed both these efforts (the economic bail out and health care) through (health care should be decided within weeks) without giving the American people or our representatives ample time to educate ourselves, so we can provide an honest response.

I don’t like the lies. Let’s face it, the Obama administration has been caught in several lies. For example, Obama says prior to his election that he is avidly for the public option, and then two months ago says he never said he was for the public option. I’ve heard the contradicting recordings myself. It’s almost as if this administration tries to revise history, simply by stating a lie that whatever subject they want to suppress is the opposite of what really happened. It’s ludicrous!

Now, the Obama administration is attacking Fox News, threatening to remove White House credentials for everyone affiliated with them. What happened to free speech? Why is it okay for CNN and NBC (including all its iterations) to be so incredibly partisan but not the Fox News channel? At least Fox News itself (the news not the commentary) is non-partisan. You can’t say the same for the CNN news team. This kind of thing is frightening to me, and if the other news organizations don’t start standing up and saying they won’t put up with this type of behavior, it’s even more frightening, because it means the end of truth in the news. All that will be left is partisanship and opinion will reign.

The result of all of this is that our country has been cleaved in two. People are taking hard sides against one another politically, and some of the rhetoric I’m now hearing on the various radio political talk shows is really scary. The attacks against the other side are becoming more viscious, people are even talking about ceeding from the union and conversation is seeded with hatered. This civil war of words is anything but civil, and it makes me fear for the future of our country.

T.S. Eliot wrote, “This is the way the world ends…this is the way the world ends…this is the way the world ends. Not with a bang, but with a whimper.” And I’m beginning to fear the truth behind that. I always thought the opposite was true — that our biggest danger was from outside our borders — but now I feel we are being eaten alive from the inside. That instead of succumbing some day to a huge bomb, our country will simply eat at itself until there is nothing left, and we are so weak that we become easy pickin’s for whatever world power wants to take us over.

Heck, as much of our commodities as we have sold to China, it might already be happening. We have stupidly allowed our economy to become so tied into theirs, that they could destroy us economically.

My point is, no matter how partisan we’ve become as a populace, we have to stick together. We cannot allow ourselves to be slowly eaten away; we cannot allow ourselves to let politics erode our union; we cannot allow our society to be weakened by the dumbing down of education or by extreme partisan rhetoric. We must remain strong and uphold the ideals upon which this great country was based. We must put this civil war of words aside and love our neighbor as we love ourselves. Only then can we sustain and grow as we have for over 200 years. If we fail to do this, I fear we will fall just as the Romans fell. Surely we’re smart enough to learn from their mistakes and stop repeating them.

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Our almost 17 year old cat, Rex, became very ill this week, and we almost lost him.

I can hear you now saying, “Jebus, woman…he’s 17 years old. Of *course* he is experiencing health problems. He’s ancient!” But the fact is, he’s been relatively healthy his entire life, with only a few bouts of seriously bad constipation in his old age and a case of very well controlled kidney disease. (It sounds worse than it is; his numbers are always in the normal range or just outside the normal range.)

But this week, Rex was sick on an entirely different level. Though we took him to the vet right away and began treatment immediately, he continued to go downhill, had yet another vet visit, and then Friday, I found him lying in a pool of water in my shower, lethargic and unmoved by his soaked, cold body. Michael rushed him to the Veteranary ER to find that his temperature was five degrees below normal and his kidney numbers were much worse than usual. We were scared.

They hooked him up to IVs to rehydrate him and warmed him up, and as of yesterday morning, his temperature was back to normal. We visited him in the afternoon, and he ate two teaspoons of food, which was a lot considering he hadn’t eaten in five days. They’ve been giving him excellent care, and we go back today to find out if we can take him home yet.

So, while I’m not for changes to the human health care system, I can tell you that I’m very happy with the pet health care system. They don’t need to change a thing except possibly lowering the fees just a little. Still, it’s worth it to have a beloved member of the family with us for a while longer, feeling like his old self again and playing with his tail like a kitten.

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You are under a misguided impression that, as a patriotic American citizen, I would like to help correct.

You were elected to your offices by a ballot of the people – American citizens one and all who have grown up loving this country and believing in a representative government of the people and by the people.  We elected you based on your reported platforms and, in doing so, gave you the heady responsibility of representing our wants and needs.

Somehow you have gotten the idea that your constituents are stupid people who don’t know enough to decide important issues for ourselves, so you have the idea that what we think we want doesn’t matter when it comes to the decisions you make, because…well…you’re smarter than us. The truth is, the greater majority of us are as smart and as savvy as you are. We pay attention to the news, the issues and the things that affect us and our families. We care about our communities, our rights and our country. Admittedly, there are some who are ignorant and uninformed, but don’t fool yourselves into believing they are in the majority. That couldn’t be farther from the truth.

As a result of your misguided thinking, you have decided to push through some legislation that you know doesn’t represent our wishes.

You’ve pushed through two stimulus bills that have destroyed our economy, when the better solution would have been to let the chips fall where they may. Stimulus packages never revitalize a sagging economy. The only thing that can do that is the confidence of the American people. Do you really think the American people can have confidence in an economy being propped up by huge infusions of government money? Be logical! Of course they can’t; if anything, that frightens us more!  The only thing that will return our economy to a steady state and make it healthy (and grow) again is when the country’s citizenry has trust and faith that things are improving.  Only then could we see real improvement, and your stimulus packages have made that impossible.

You’ve pushed through an energy/climate bill that was based on inaccurate calculations, telling us that it will only increase our home fuel bills by around $150 a year by 2020. And then, in a huge “oops moment,” you quietly informed us that you’d made a small math mistake, and the real cost to each American household will be more to the tune of $300 to $400 A MONTH. Do you really think that this is something the average American household can sustain?  If so, you’re living in the dream world of the privileged few.  Most of us will not be able to afford such an increase in our fuel bills. Such increases will bankrupt us and put us on the streets.  Do you care? It seems not, since all you seem to be about is making the changes you want while you have an overwhelming majority that can’t be overridden. So much for checks and balances.

Now, you are trying to put through a Health bill that virtually no one wants.  You are holding so many press conferences and town meetings that many of us are wondering who is actually governing our country.  You claim that the opposition you have met during these meetings is false opposition – that those who vehemently voice their concerns are paid to do so, and the American people actually want this bill. Well, I’m here to tell you that we do NOT want this bill. On top of that, we are sick to death of being lied to by our President and the senators and congressmen and women who we elected to represent us.  You are aware, aren’t you, that we can READ?  When you tell us that we can keep our own work-provided or private insurance, we can easily find the section of the bill that states we won’t be able to do that.  When you tell us that we can keep our family physicians – some of whom have been our doctors for decades – we can see in the bill that this is not the case. When you tell us this bill will improve our health care, even though it’s based on the socialized medicine we see in other countries like Canada, we know that it will actually degrade our healthcare.  We know that what health care we are allowed to receive will be based on our age, our weight, or our “worthiness” to be treated. 

In addition, you are trying to take away our freedom of speech with the “fairness doctrine,” which will kill conservative talk radio. The liberal lawyers you’ve put in the Justice Department have even stooped to threatening the state of Oklahoma for trying to present a bill that would make English the official language of the state!  And (as a side note) Nancy Polosi herself has lied to the American people, claiming she never knew of “water boarding” when it’s part of the public record that she did.

You have pretended to be so concerned about our economy, vilifying the executives of the big three car companies for flying in separate private jets to meet with you, and yet now, you have voted for two new luxury jets to fly YOU around, when you have a perfectly good fleet of planes already.  How about flying coach or driving? Heck, even flying first class would save millions of dollars over what you have chosen to do.

I could go on, but I believe I have gotten my message across to you. If not, let me make it even simpler.

You are NOT fooling us.

And while we’re at it, shame on us for wanting change so badly that we voted you in. We wrongly believed that you had integrity and honor and trusted that you would stand by your sworn pledge to represent us as provided for in the U.S. Constitution.  We did not expect that, given an overwhelming majority, you would turn into wolves whose only desire was to rip and shred at the very platform on which our great country was built. We did not understand that, without the proper checks and balances, you would push through partisan legislation that we, the people you are supposed to represent, do not want. We didn’t get that you would fundamentally change the face of our government, our economy and our lives.

But know this…

If we are still a representative democracy when your terms are up, you will be voted out of office. We will take back our country just as our forefathers did before us, and our newly elected representatives will return our rights and freedoms to us and restore our great nation to its former glory.

Count on it.   

Copyright August 6, 2009 by Margaret Floeter

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