I‘m just going to lay it out for you….

I’m writing this post just so I don’t have to look at the last one every day.

This past week — heck, this past month — has been a time of emotional upheaval. I’ve never had such a string of bad luck in my life. (I don’t even want to say it that way, because in reality, Bryn’s death wasn’t my bad luck; it was hers.  But I can’t think of another way of putting it, so we’re justCredit: Defense Nuclear Agency going to have to live with the inaccuracy here.)

Each time something bad has happened, I’ve asked, “What else can go wrong?” and each time, I’ve been given the resounding answer, “Oh, I’ll show you, missy!” Then, SLAM! Something worse happens. At this point, I’m afraid to ask the question again.  I won’t let my mind go there, because if I were to receive even harder evidence that yes, indeed, something worse can happen, I’m not sure I could take it.

That said, there is a lot of good in my life. Max is getting better.  The first two or three days after we lost Bryn, he was horribly depressed. No one can tell me that he doesn’t know she is gone. They’d been separated before, and he never wailed and acted so terribly sad as he did when Bryn didn’t come back. He’s better, though. He plays with us, and he’s started barking at the other dogs again. (joy…our neighbors can go back to hating us)

I have a wonderful son who has been such a rock of strength and support to me over these past few weeks. I have to tell you; I don’t know how one person can be so smart, so talented, so nice and so loving all at the same time. He’s such a special person, and I thank God for him every day.

My friends and family have really been there for me. The love and support has been overwhelming. I’m not sure what I would do without them.

So, yes…the past weeks have been really tough, but I have a lot to be thankful for, and tomorrow is, after all, another day.