Wed 25 Feb 2009
There are few things in life that offer a greater reward than caring for an innocent being whose greatest joy is giving you love in return. I have written about my dog, Bryn, in these pages before. She is, by far, the sweetest dog I’ve ever known but one that has had to struggle through life from the very beginning.
When I first held her, she was a week old, and I bottle fed her from the time she was a week and a half old, because, as the runt of the litter, she was not able to get past her other 11 siblings to eat. I fell immediately in love with her. The look in her sweet little eyes when I fed her was so trusting, and we formed an unbreakable bond.
We found out at her five week checkup that she had a serious heart defect. An extra artery made her heart beat way too fast, and Dr. Marshall, our wonderful veteranarian, told us that she probably wouldn’t live past eight, and she’d always be smaller than her genes intended. In the five years we’ve had the pleasure of caring for her, though, she’s proved us all wrong. She’s been healthy and energetic, her heart problem has mostly fixed itself and she grew to 63 pounds.
Yesterday, though, it was obvious that she didn’t feel good. She was listless and hardly moved. We got her to eat and drink, but she threw up within 15 minutes without even trying to move first. It got all over me, and she looked up at me as if to say, “I’m sorry…I couldn’t help myself,” but she didn’t move an inch. I knew then that it was something serious.
I took her to the vet this morning when they first opened, and by then, her eyes, ears and gums were jaundiced. The look in Dr. Marshall’s eyes told me it wasn’t good. He said she looks like she has liver disease or bileary disease. We took her outside to pee, and it was dark brown, it was so filled with bile. He took blood — a difficult task with her being so dehydrated — and sent us home. Not a good sign, since I thought they’d want to put her on fluids right away. He’s off this afternoon, but he’s going into the office long enough to get a diagnosis from the blood test and call me. Whatever it is, her chances are not good.
I love all my pets, but Bryn is my special girl. The thought of losing her after five short years is unbearable. She’s lying at my feet now, looking up at me with such love and sadness, as if she knows what’s going on. Our other dog, Max, is just outside, crying for her with such desperation that I can hardly bear to listen.
In a month where I have had nothing but bad luck — a job layoff, a flat tire, my rear car window smashed out by someone for fun, my medical insurance being cancelled by accident — nothing compares to this. I hope and pray that we can save her, but I fear we cannot. Why do things like this have to happen? She’s such a good girl…such a great dog and such a good friend.
Edit: Bryn passed away this afternoon at 5pm after we discovered that her entire belly was full of a horrible tumor. We are devastated. We were so honored to have been allowed to share this wonderful soul’s life, and I will never forget our last moments with her. She licked us both, wagged her tail and passed away while we held her. I’m so glad she didn’t have to go through that alone and that she was surrounded by love as she gave us love to the very end.
February 25th, 2009 at 2:51 pm
As I read this blog, I started crying because I know exactly how you are feeling. We went through a similar situation in October last year with our dear Rufus - our dachshund of 9 years…he was our boy - our baby - the spoiled one of the bunch. It was the hardest day of our lives (thus far) when he left to go dig holes in the clouds.
Maggy, you are in my thoughts and prayers and I pray that your heart receives peace.
With all my love
February 25th, 2009 at 3:10 pm
Thanks, sweet woman. That means so much to me. I’m sorry to hear about Rufus; I know your heart was broken. All I can do now is lie down next to her and love her while I can and pray and pray and pray…
February 25th, 2009 at 4:33 pm
That sometimes is the best for both you and her.
February 26th, 2009 at 10:24 am
Courtney and I are so sorry for your loss. We know how horrible you are feeling.
Something we did for Rufus was we ordered a stone for our rock garden with his name and dates and a picture of a dachshund on it. If you are interested in the information, I can get it for you.
We love you dearly and again have you in our hearts.
February 26th, 2009 at 12:34 pm
I had actually planned to do that. We had her cremated, and I’m going to get her ashes tomorrow. I’d like to bury them below the stone after mixing a little bit with some soil to plant a tree, so she can live on in some way. Please do get the information for me. And thanks for the kind words….that means a lot.
February 27th, 2009 at 12:12 pm
Courtney said we have the receipt at home and we’ll send you the information tonight.
February 27th, 2009 at 10:51 pm
Here is the website: http://www.rockitcreations.com/gallery/petmemorials.html — we were very pleased with the stone.
March 4th, 2009 at 4:35 pm
Did you get the information about the stone?
March 5th, 2009 at 3:09 am
Yes, thank you! It was stuck in my moderate box, and I somehow missed the notification.
March 17th, 2009 at 11:17 am
Good….I wanted to make sure you got it…