I‘m not really sure what to title this blog entry. In fact, it’s a little hard to write it; not because I don’t know what I want to say, but because I’m not sure how to say it.

A couple of months ago, I posted about leaving my old job and how hard it was to leave my friends there. A few weeks ago, I posted about how I’m not a very social person, and because of that, my friendships at work are very important to me. I also posted about my World of Warcraft addiction and how much fun it is to be a virtual bad-ass.

What I didn’t post was how important my gaming friends have become to me.  That may sound weird to anyone who doesn’t participate in a close-knit online community, but that little group of people are like family to me. I care about what happens to them, I look forward to being with them, they bouy me when I’m down and fight along side me, laugh with me, cry with me, celebrate hard won goals with me.

Through that game, I’ve met some very special people who have taught me a great deal about commitment, drive and determination. Sounds strange when you consider I’m talking about a game; doesn’t it? But it’s true. When a group of people work together for weeks and even months on end to achieve a difficult goal that requires consentration and teamwork, it takes those qualities to succeed. Our leader and some of the other officers in our guild who have served in the armed forces and have been to war liken the teamwork and effort it takes to succeed in game to that on the battlefield. Of course the dangers aren’t real, and the lives at stake are only virtual, but the teamwork, method and consentration required are the same.

It’s no wonder that the camaraderie is so strong. To listen to it as an outsider, you might agree that when we are “in battle,” the chatter sounds much like it might sound on a real battlefield, as officers are sending directions and warnings to the troups. It’s intense! It’s stressful! It’s hard work! The respect I hold for our leaders is as strong or stronger than the respect I feel for just about anyone else in my life.

So when we’re not in the middle of that, the times we share together are filled with laughter and fun. We let go with each other in ways many of us never do in our real lives. We share personal information we hold inside otherwise. We call each other and have long conversations about our lives, our ambitions and what really matters.

With all that in mind, it’s no wonder that any threat to our little family causes more than a little anxiety.  I’ve never been one to handle disequalibrium very well — I’m a both feet on the ground kind of gal — so I hate waiting and wondering for any shoe to drop, particularly when we’re talking about my favorite pair.

Today, I’m holding my breath, because something big is up. 

Our core group is strong, but the less committed people have caused us to falter at our goals, and it’s frustrating, particularly to our members who are all about progression. The holiday season has made the situation even worse, so things are quickly coming to a head. Decisions that affect us all are being made, and not everyone is going to be happy with the results. Some may leave us and move on to other groups. Some may not be able to make the changes required.

It makes me sad and worried, and I’m supposed to wait until 9pm tomorrow night to find out what’s going to happen.  I may go nuts before then, or at the very least, drive those around me nuts.  I really hate it.

I want things to stay the same, but nothing ever does; does it? (That’s a rhetorical quesiton; I know the answer.)

I just hope that whatever happens, the people I really care about stick it out with us.  I want to progress, too, but for me it’s the family that’s important. It’s the people. It’s people I couldn’t begin to name, lest this become pages long.  People with real names and real lives that I care about.

Below is a little video of what it’s like in our “battles.”  This isn’t our group, but it’s the same no matter what group is doing it.  I’m not sure you can get the real jist of it from watching this, but maybe you can get an idea.