Thu 6 May 2010
As our population becomes more and more obese, there is a push towards healthier lifestyles. Restaurants are offering healtheir alternatives, and even fast food chains are taking steps to remove trans fats from their offerings and make 
other changes that promote healthy alternatives. One would think, then, that it would be no problem for a patron to order water at a fast food chain. Water is a healthy alternative to carbonated beverages. Not only that, it’s an inexpensive product from a restaurant’s perspective as well.
Why, then, is it practically IMPOSSIBLE to order ice water at a drive through window?
It seems that, if you want water, you have two alternatives. One, you can buy 
bottled water, or two, you can have a tiny cup of ice water. As a lover of ice water, I don’t like either option.
Bottled water, while marketed as healthier than tap water, is, in fact, not. Some water bottling companies actually just put tap water in the bottles, others remove “impurities” and remove the good minerals as well. And, even if it IS healthy, it tastes bad. I don’t enjoy drinking tepid plastic flavored water, and I know a lot of other water lovers who feel the same way.
Then there’s the tiny cup option. What? Are water drinkers somehow less important than carbonated beverage drinkers? Are we less thirsty? Don’t we deserve an option to purchase a large cup of water and ice? That’s all I want, really; a large cup of water with lots of ice, just like the person in the car before me wants a large Dr. Pepper with a lot of ice. I’m willing to pay for it, and I’m NOT the only one!
Here’s how it usually goes…
Me: I’d like the number 8 combo meal but make that combo drink an ice water.
Them: You want bottled water?
Me: No, I’d like ice water in the combo sized cup
Them: Uhhh…okay.
Then I get up to the window, get my food and a tiny cup of water, and usually that water is pink because it comes from the same spicket as the pink lemonade, and the person running the drive-through is too lazy to just let it run for two seconds to get the pink lemonade cleared from the spicket.
Me: Did I not pay for the combo?
Them: No. You were charged for the hamburer and fries but the water is free, so we didn’t charge you for a combo.
Me: But I asked for the combo because I wanted the combo sized drink. I just happen to prefer water over soda.
Them: But water is free.
Me: It’s free in a tiny baby cup. I want a large cup of water.
Them: So you want bottled water?
Me: NO! I don’t LIKE bottled water. I want water with ice!
Them: But we don’t offer that.
Me: Charge me for a Coke but give me water in the cup. Is that so hard?
Them: Blank stare.
Me: Forget it. Just give me the damned baby cup of water.
The sad fact is that this happens almost universally no matter what fast food drive through I go to. It’s like the workers are programmed, and ice water just doesn’t compute.
Why is it so hard to get a large cup of water? I seriously don’t mind paying for it. Just make it an option. Your restaurant will make tons of profit by charging me the same thing they charge for a carbonated beverage of the same size. WHY PUT US THROUGH THE SAME CRAP EVERY TIME WE TRY TO ORDER WATER? What IS the big deal?
If I sound ticked off, I am. It happened to me again tonight, and went something like this:
Me: I would like the number 8 combo meal, and as that combo drink, which I want to pay for, I would like a large ice water. Not bottled water, not a baby cup of water, but a large water.
Them: But water is free. You have to order another drink with the combo.
Me: NO. Just pretend I’m getting a Coke and give me water instead.
Them: Uhhhhhh…okay.
So I get to the window and what do I get? A large Coke and a baby water. (Because water is free!)
Me: Take this Coke, and pour it down the drain. Rinse the cup out, fill it with ice, and then fill it with tap water. That’s what I ordered, and that’s what I want.
Them: But water is free.
Me: I DON’T WANT A BABY CUP OF WATER! I WANT A L A R G E CUP OF WATER!
Them: You want bottled water?
Me: NOOOOOO! I WANT A LARGE C*U*P OF ICE WATER!
Them: But we can’t give you that. We’ll have to charge you for the cup.
Me: THAT’S WHAT I WANT! I ASKED TO BE CHARGED FOR THE COMBO SO I COULD HAVE THE LARGE CUP OF ICE WATER!
Them: Why don’t you take the Coke then?
Me: I DON’T LIKE COKE! I LIKE WATER!
Them: Okay, lady. I don’t know why you’re so upset!
Me: JUST GIVE ME THE DAMNED WATER!
And so, here I am. I got my water. It’s pink and tastes vaguely of lemonade, but at least I got water. Unfortunately, the food was cold by the time I got home. And, oh…the order was wrong.
Next, we’ll discuss trying to get water at a sit-down restaurant WITHOUT lemon. (Also next to impossible)
Maybe someday we water drinkers won’t be so discriminated against. I’m not holding my breath.
Stumble It!