How weird to look at my site and realize I haven’t posted in eight years. EIGHT.

I guess I could say I’ve been a little busy, but that’s not it. In reality, I’ve just been overwhelmed. When you learn that your whole life has been a lie, it takes a while to rebuild your identity and to come to terms with everything your new identity brings with it. I count myself as one of the lucky ones, though. I didn’t have to keep my truth a secret like so many others who learn they are an NPE. In my case, all the major players had passed on, and there was no one to be hurt by my revelation.

Some of you may be wondering, “What is an NPE, and why would someone have to keep it a secret?”

NPE stands for “Non-paternity event.” In the simplest terms it means that the father listed on my birth certificate wasn’t my biological father. :::queue ominous music::: With that answered, it’s probably pretty easy to see why some people might want someone’s status as an NPE kept secret. The major players often don’t want this news to be public because it would 1) be proof that Mom cheated on her husband and/or 2) be proof that biological dad cheated on his wife. In either or both cases, the major players in question don’t want the truth to come out, lest their own lives be turned upside down.

I feel very sad for NPEs who have to deal with this. I am a firm believer that it is our right to live our own truths, not someone else’s lie, yet I read post after post from NPEs saying that their mothers and/or siblings won’t speak to them, because they didn’t keep it a secret. How unfair is that? Gee, Mom…sorry you were a duplicitous, lying cheater, but it’s not my job to keep your secret. Deal with it.

Same goes for the biological father who thinks he can have it both ways, connecting with his “love child” but forcing that person to keep it a secret, lest his wife or other children find out. Sorry, bub. I won’t be the cake you have on the side while you stuff your gullet with Red Velvet with your “real” family. Either come clean, or you won’t see me.

I’m so glad I didn’t have to deal with a situation like that on top of my own identity crisis, which was hard enough as it was.

More on that later.

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