The life and times of an uncertain blogger

Iconic.

This week, the the United States and the world has lost some iconic people.

First, Ed McMahon who died at the age of 86. Ed was perhaps the most perfect straight man ever to grace the late night stage. As Johnny Carson’s partner for over 30 years, he set up and played off of Johnny’s jokes, keeping us laughing until we cried. Johnny and Ed were a late night institution for most Americans, and I — like most people in this country — never missed an episode. As the years passed, I’d forgotten just how funny they were together, but when I heard of Ed’s death, I pulled out my “Best of Carson” DVD and watched the whole thing. Man, those guys were great together. Ed’s quiet straight lines and the looks they engendered from Johnny were classic.

Yesterday, Farrah Fawcett passed away at the age of 62 after three years fighting anal cancer. She, too, was an iconic personality. In the 70s and 80s, her beauty was unrivaled. Her picture was everywhere — even my gay friend, Rob, had her poster on his wall. Her beautiful smile was unrivaled, her gorgeous hair was copied by millions of women around the world, and her unbridled sexuality was a turn on for boys and men and a roadmap for women who tried — most of the time with little success — to be just a little bit like her. Beautiful even while fighting cancer at 62, she spent her last months sending a message to the world: Don’t give up, no matter what obstacles come your way.

And then we come, sadly, shockingly, to Michael Jackson. To say Michael was iconic is an understatement. As a child, some of my greatest memories surround Michael and Donnie Osmond. The three of us were roughly the same age, so I was especially interested in the two boys. Before they were 9 years old, Michael and the Jackson Five and Donne and the Osmond Brothers were rising stars, rivals of sorts and obviously full of talent. It was Michael, though, who grew into the icon he became. With his every move, he outdid himself. Every song he wrote was better than the last. Every dance move he invented was 10 tiers above the one before. Every video he made outdid the others. He was a true star, beloved and awed by billions across the world.

Sadly, his upbringing and fame did much to scar him. It turned him into a recluse, robbed him of his childhood and his freedom and shaped him into an eccentric person who only identified with children and other child stars. Thankfully, the world today is forgetting his quirks and eccentricities and remembering him for the amazing, astounding talent that he had. I still can’t believe he’s gone.

Three great icons. I’m so glad we got to experience the joy they brought to the world. I’m so sad to see them go. I give them my applause and thanks one last time.

Stumble It!

I‘m just going to lay it out for you….

I’m writing this post just so I don’t have to look at the last one every day.

This past week — heck, this past month — has been a time of emotional upheaval. I’ve never had such a string of bad luck in my life. (I don’t even want to say it that way, because in reality, Bryn’s death wasn’t my bad luck; it was hers.  But I can’t think of another way of putting it, so we’re just going to have to live with the inaccuracy here.)

Each time something bad has happened, I’ve asked, “What else can go wrong?” and each time, I’ve been given the resounding answer, “Oh, I’ll show you, missy!” Then, SLAM! Something worse happens. At this point, I’m afraid to ask the question again.  I won’t let my mind go there, because if I were to receive even harder evidence that yes, indeed, something worse can happen, I’m not sure I could take it.

That said, there is a lot of good in my life. Max is getting better.  The first two or three days after we lost Bryn, he was horribly depressed. No one can tell me that he doesn’t know she is gone. They’d been separated before, and he never wailed and acted so terribly sad as he did when Bryn didn’t come back. He’s better, though. He plays with us, and he’s started barking at the other dogs again. (joy…our neighbors can go back to hating us)

I have a wonderful son who has been such a rock of strength and support to me over these past few weeks. I have to tell you; I don’t know how one person can be so smart, so talented, so nice and so loving all at the same time. He’s such a special person, and I thank God for him every day.

My friends and family have really been there for me. The love and support has been overwhelming. I’m not sure what I would do without them.

So, yes…the past weeks have been really tough, but I have a lot to be thankful for, and tomorrow is, after all, another day.

Stumble It!

There are few things in life that offer a greater reward than caring for an innocent being whose greatest joy is giving you love in return.  I have written about my dog, Bryn, in these pages before.  She is, by far, the sweetest dog I’ve ever known but one that has had to struggle through life from the very beginning.

When I first held her, she was a week old, and I bottle fed her from the time she was a week and a half old, because, as the runt of the litter, she was not able to get past her other 11 siblings to eat.  I fell immediately in love with her.  The look in her sweet little eyes when I fed her was so trusting, and we formed an unbreakable bond.

We found out at her five week checkup that she had a serious heart defect. An extra artery made her heart beat way too fast, and Dr. Marshall, our wonderful veteranarian, told us that she probably wouldn’t live past eight, and she’d always be smaller than her genes intended. In the five years we’ve had the pleasure of caring for her, though, she’s proved us all wrong. She’s been healthy and energetic, her heart problem has mostly fixed itself and she grew to 63 pounds.

Yesterday, though, it was obvious that she didn’t feel good. She was listless and hardly moved. We got her to eat and drink, but she threw up within 15 minutes without even trying to move first. It got all over me, and she looked up at me as if to say, “I’m sorry…I couldn’t help myself,” but she didn’t move an inch.  I knew then that it was something serious.

I took her to the vet this morning when they first opened, and by then, her eyes, ears and gums were jaundiced. The look in Dr. Marshall’s eyes told me it wasn’t good. He said she looks like she has liver disease or bileary disease.  We took her outside to pee, and it was dark brown, it was so filled with bile. He took blood — a difficult task with her being so dehydrated — and sent us home. Not a good sign, since I thought they’d want to put her on fluids right away. He’s off this afternoon, but he’s going into the office long enough to get a diagnosis from the blood test and call me. Whatever it is, her chances are not good.

I love all my pets, but Bryn is my special girl.  The thought of losing her after five short years is unbearable. She’s lying at my feet now, looking up at me with such love and sadness, as if she knows what’s going on. Our other dog, Max, is just outside, crying for her with such desperation that I can hardly bear to listen.

In a month where I have had nothing but bad luck — a job layoff, a flat tire, my rear car window smashed out by someone for fun, my medical insurance being cancelled by accident — nothing compares to this. I hope and pray that we can save her, but I fear we cannot. Why do things like this have to happen?  She’s such a good girl…such a great dog and such a good friend.

Edit: Bryn passed away this afternoon at 5pm after we discovered that her entire belly was full of a horrible tumor. We are devastated. We were so honored to have been allowed to share this wonderful soul’s life, and I will never forget our last moments with her.  She licked us both, wagged her tail and passed away while we held her.  I’m so glad she didn’t have to go through that alone and that she was surrounded by love as she gave us love to the very end.

Stumble It!

It’s the day after the NCAA national football championship, and I’m still angry.

You know, it wasn’t so much that OU lost the game — they played hard, and the score was virtually tied until the middle of the fourth quarter — it was the obviously biased commentating that left me so ticked off that I still want to rip someone’s head off. Thom Brennaman and Charles Davis win the award for the worst commentating for a national football championship ever.

Don’t get me wrong; as someone who’s spent my life as a journalist and writer, I understand the need for a hook — that human interest appeal that gets the viewers to stay tuned in — but these guys went to ridiculous levels in their commentary, particularly Brennaman who raised Tim Tebow to the level of messaih. I swear if I didn’t know better, I’d think it was the second coming of Christ!

His most disgusting comment was this one:

“If you’re fortunate enough to spend five minutes or 20 minutes around Tim Tebow, your life is better for it.“

Oh, come on! I have no doubt the kid is a great guy and a great leader, but I’d put Sam Bradford up against him any day. He, too, is a great guy and a wonderful leader. He’s also this year’s Heisman Trophy winner, and he was virtually ignored by these two horrible commentators. Fox Sports should be embarrassed by their humiliating display of hyperbole and incorrect information.

Other low-lights of their performance:

• Going crazy about whether OU should go for it on fourth down on a critical play when it was really third down
• Stating that Trautwein had a false state twice when it was really three times
• Claiming an OU defender “horsed” one of the Florida players and calling for a penalty when he had clearly not done that.
• Actually referring to momentum as “Ole Moe“
• Stating that Tebow’s unsportsman like conduct penalty that cost his team 15 yards was “probably the first thing he’s ever done wrong.“
• Not mentioning Stoops’ very strong ties to the Florida team. He *was* their defensive coordinator after all.

There are so many more. Way too many to mention. If you want a real kick, google “bad 2009 NCAA football championship commentators” and read the comments by viewers. I think my favorite was from a guy named Rob who said, “Tebow cured the announcers of their erictile dysfunction.” No truer words were ever written.

I’m not the only one who feels this way about the officiating. Check out this great article by Chris Burke - BCS National Championship 2009: Thom Brennaman Forces Mute Buttons to Work.

Before I go, a few words about the Sooners. This team has been one of the hardest working, hardest playing teams in the country this year. They have proven the ney-sayers wrong again and again. Sam Bradford has been a wonderful, strong, calming influence for the team and has set a wonderful example. The OU coaching team is one of the best in the nation — Brent Venables, in particular, has worked magic with the defensive line. Congratulations to all of them for a wonderful season, and we’ll get them next year!

Let’s just hope to GOD that we have a decent commentary team to do the game justice!

Stumble It!

The holiday season is upon us, with all the hustle and bustle as throngs of people shop for the perfect gifts for loved ones.

I both love and loathe this season.  Traffic is horrible, crowds are oppressive, but I actually enjoy sitting in the mall food court listening to the cacophony of merged voices.  It gives me a sense of belonging.

I haven’t done any shopping this year, yet. Back problems and a bad virus have kept me in bed when I’m not at work, so this coming week I’ll be able to share the joy and pain of Christmas shopping. No matter how frustrating last minute shopping is, I’ll remember that it’s all in the name of love.

I’m particularly excited that this year we get to have our family Christmas on Christmas day.  It will be SO nice to see everyone.  As we get older, these times are even more precious.

My new year’s resolution is to find more time to write here, to slow my life down in a number of ways and learn to take better care of myself.  Hopefully, this is one resolution I can keep.  In the meantime, have a very happy Christmas, a wonderful Hanukkah or whatever holiday your religion observes.

Much love,

Maggy

Stumble It!

ARGHHHHHHHH!!!

I was going to write, “There; I feel better now,” but the sad fact is, I don’t! For the past two weeks, I’ve been plagued by the worst allergies I’ve ever had in my life!

I know I’m not alone out here. According to everything I’ve read, we’re having the worst allergy season we’ve had in years, with the most heinous culprit being ragweed. Everyone is sneezing, itching, wiping their eyes, sniffing and coughing. If misery loves company, I should be thrilled about now. To be honest, though, I’d be more thrilled if it were just those other people suffering, so I could go on living in ignorance and comfort

When I was young, I wasn’t allergic to anything at all. I could roll around in poison ivy, and it wouldn’t phase me. (I actually did this once with my boyfriend. ::cough:: The next day, he was covered in calamine lotion, and the only sign I’d been there was the knowing smile on my face.) My poor brother, on the other hand, was highly allergic. I can still see the rash on his arms, which always looked angry and inflamed and was usually bleeding to some degree from his constant scratching. I felt for him, but I really had no idea what he was going through.

Now, I do!

Over the past twenty years or so, I’ve slowly developed allergies to this and that. I’ve had three allergy tests (ooOOooo! Needles!), and each one has shown that I’m progressively becoming more allergic to more things. The last time I took one (last year), it showed that I am at least a little bit allergic to everything they tested me for except dogs and cats. Thank goodness, since I have four cats and two dogs!

This bout with allergies, though, has been like nothing I’ve ever experienced. It started with a little itching, then became an angry, bumpy rash on my lower legs and hot, red, itchy skin over the rest of my body, except for my head. At first, I took a back scratcher to bed with me. When it didn’t do the job, I tucked a hair brush into my hand before nodding off. (Oh, how I now love that hair brush/skin shreader!)

When the itching got so bad that I couldn’t sleep or sit still anymore, I rushed to the doctor, who put me on Prednisone and a really strong topical steroidal cream. At first, it helped, but as soon as I began lowering the dose to avoid becoming addicted to it, the itching came back with a vengence! Now, my head and face also itch. Joy.

I suppose I should be grateful. After all, I’ve never felt more alive. Unfortunately, I have also never felt more like I’m covered with other live things like mosquitos or stinging ants.

I itch; therefore, I am. It’s times like these, though, that I wish I could just not itch and sleep. That’s it…sleep, perchance to dream…of not itching!

Stumble It!